Google Website Translator Gadget

Snowy Palms Christmas

Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house not a person was stirring, not even the louse. An effigy was hung by the chimney - to scare, they feared Lazy Bastard was soon to be there.

The residents were snoring all snug in their beds, while visions of rub and tugs played in their heads. Hildegarde in her G-string while she sat on James lap, was more than enough to send me to nap.

When out on the porch there came such a clatter, Hildegarde raised from James lap to see what's the matter. To the door she ran giving an X rated flash, leaving her G-string behind for his 50 in cash.

The moon glow on her breasts produced quite the peepshow, giving her the allure of a cheap two-bit ho. Then sadly what to our widening eyes should appear, but Lazy Bastard with 3 kegs of draught beer.

The miserable old cook so lazy and slow, had behind him, 6 strippers in tow. The ladies were easy we all could see plain, then with a slur and a whistle he called out their names.

Now Destiny, Fantasia and Chastity Divine! Oh Angel! Oh Ginger! Oh Chocolate so fine! To the bar! To the den! Then off with those coats! Then please introduce yourselves to these fine rum drenched folks.

As a hurricane gathers to no force be it swayed, will this gathering storm usher in She Who Must Be Obeyed? Hearing footsteps from above we all feared, we all knew, the storm was advancing, when the language turned blue.

Arriving so drunken, with rental units in tow, Lazy Bastard was to meet his long suffering foe. As footfalls fell heavy on each single stair, we all ran for cover, saving our own lives seemed fair.

She was dressed red gingham, from her neck to her toes, in her right hand was a length of black rubber hose. The firehose and axe she had strapped to her back, she was angrily ready and now armed to attack.

His eyes were all bleary, his face was all flushed, he looked at his new friends, his fantasies now crushed. She Who Must Be Obeyed now on the attack, swung the hose wildly catching him square in the back, he turned for protection but took another hard smack.

Lazy Bastard now crying, to the strippers he said, "you all better run for it or you’ll all end up dead!" They ran from the house, cross the yard, to the street, wearing nothing but goose bumps and the spikes on their feet.

She Who Must Be Obeyed once stoked for a fight, had the energy, the stamina to carry on all night. Lazy Bastard however, now chastened - bereft, was vulnerable now, his friends had all left.

He turned to his bride and spoke not a word, instead raising his arm, asking her to be heard. She nodded agreement to his request with a nod, then tapped him so lightly with a broke curtain rod.

"Please do not kill me, you had nothing to fear, the young ladies were simply packing the beer. They were not to stay long, to them I did say, and the taxis were waiting to take them away."

"So please put down the hose and the rest of the gear, let the guests return to the Inn without fear. It’s Christmas you know, there is so much to do, I need to prepare, to get cooking for you."

Christmas at Snowy Palms, is always a sight, the food, the booze and midnight fistfight. The residents and guests will drink and will gorge, as they all celebrate at the Inn in Prince George.

Then oddly enough to our eyes did we see, a fat old man, in a sleigh, in a tree! There were reindeer as well and an elf on a bike, the scene was surreal, the punch had been spiked!

Beside the old man, in the sleigh which was packed, six shivering strippers sat huddled in back. The old man was smiling, his face glowing with joy, the six lovely ladies had found their boy toy.

"Oh Destiny. Oh Fantasia. Oh Chastity Divine! Oh Angel! Oh Ginger! Oh Chocolate so fine! These reindeer will take us to places afar, and to keep us warm there’s some rum in this jar."

In his hands were the reins and as he gave them a shake, he told those assembled, "with haste we will make." Then off to the sky the sleigh launched and we knew, he’s going to get lucky with one or with two.

As they flew higher further into the night, he yelled back to us, "Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night!"

No comments:

Post a Comment